DECEIVED BY THE ENEMY: A Testimony

It's been a while since the last time I posted on this blog. As the saying goes, for every effect there is always a cause. In my case, the cause why it took me a while to post again was at least threefold: (1) I got off-balanced juggling family life, earning a living, and serving God (2) I've been away to China and somehow I cannot open blogger there (3) I made a mistake while in China (my main topic for this post).

I left for China last Nov. 23 for a business trip, armed with the prayers of members of the bible study group (thank you guys) in which I am currently a member.

Before I left, I knew then that once I would stepped into my hotel room alone, the enemy would attack everyday like fierce wolves coming out of the forest, ever ready to devour my spirit.

But there's nothing to worry about; I was prepared for it, right? Or so I thought.

A little backgrounder.

Before God healed me, lust of the flesh was one of the chinks in my spiritual armor. Business trips were ideal times for this sin to attack me. (Imagine yourself alone in a hotel room after office hour with wide screen cable TV, access to adult movie upon request, and unlimited access to carnal sites in the internet.) I already received God's healing a few years ago but I didn't want to be complacent and be caught flatfooted by the enemy, so this sin made it to the top of my watch list.

By God's grace, I did not fall again to the sin of the flesh while in China. God was so merciful and faithful that he delivered me from this old trap of the enemy. The temptation did come more than once but God gave me the strength to resist.

But the enemy is such a cunning predator -- Adam and Eve wouldn't have fall for nothing. He will never stop looking for ways to drive us away from the protection of our God. And He has the whole world as his playground, and means of carrying out his evil plans.

Before I go on further, allow me first to tell you about my other little weakness. I like watching TV. Even before I was a small kid until now, my face would easily glued to the TV set. I tried to fight this off by keeping my own home TV-free for five straight years now. And having done this, I thought that I was already “TV-addiction-free”, but in reality this it was just an delusion. This was exposed big time while I was in China.

My home in Cebu maybe TV-free but my hotel in China was not. While I was victorious in my battle against the sin of the flesh, I failed miserably in my fight against TV-addiction. And this addiction almost snatched me away from God’s sheepfold.

This was how it happened. Sit tight.

Temptation: On the first night in the hotel alone, there was a nudge for me (from you know who) to watch a movie in HBO.

My reaction: Since I already finished doing my report, I rationalized that I deserve a break by watching just “one” movie. At the back of my mind I thought, “Watching movie is a very common thing to do nowadays so there should be no harm doing it.”

Result: Unfortunately, the movie was so up to my taste that I really enjoyed watching it. Without me knowing then, my repressed desire to watch TV was awakened.

Temptation: Wait for the next movie to start...maybe you would like it too.

Intervention: An inner voice spoke to my heart and reminded me that it was time to stop, and time to read my bible.

My reaction: I was torn between doing what was right, and satisfying my unleashed desire. Undecided, I waited for the next movie to start so that I can judge if I will like the movie. (First mistake; I should have stopped immediately!)

Result: Unfortunately, the movie was again very up to my taste again.

Temptation: Watch the movie, and do whatever you want to do afterwards. There is always time. Besides, the movie is so nice and it might not be shown again.So don't care about other things, just watch!


My reaction: I said to myself, "OK, I will watch this one and read my bible afterward." (Second mistake, nice movie or not, I should have stopped here immediately!)

Intervention: Initially, there was heaviness in my heart, but the feeling was numbed by the rushing desire from the floodgates of my flesh. The inner voice was muted too by the sound and conversation going on in the movie.

My reaction: I totally lost myself in the movie, I ignore everything. I was 100% absorbed. (Third mistake, I could still stop here though it's a lot harder now!)

Result: After the movie, it was already late in the evening. I felt the heaviness in my heart again, and a new feeling surfaced – guilt. My wrong decision earlier already made some impact to my spirit.

My reaction: With remorse, I dragged myself to read my bible and pray. I also asked for forgiveness for choosing TV over God. But deep inside I cannot forget the exhilarating feeling, the vivid taste of consuming my-kind-of-movie, so I was unsure if I could do the right thing next time. Therefore, my act of reconciliation was not sincere; my awakened addiction slowly blurred my moral vision, drained my spiritual strength. (Driving a nail into the coffin!)

And on the following days, the same thing happened. I was really deep into enemy's territory. As days continued to unfold, I knew that I have to stop, and do what was right but I rolled along. (More nails!) Sin made my spirit weaker day after day; I saw myself slowly drifting away from my loving God, but I felt too weak to resist.

Then God took hold of me.

Two days after I arrived from China, I got sick. From out of nowhere, I suddenly got the fever. The day before, my body was full of energy, but all of a sudden I felt so tired that I all I cared to do was to lie down. My brother in-law even thought I got the H1N1 virus!

What really happened was that the merciful hand of God was at work. As my body slumped, devoid of energy necessary to carry out any normal daily activities, my God cleared my mind of all the unnecessary clutters. Before, I was like a computer trapped in an infinite loop, when God came along and press my reset button. God untangled all my confusions earlier, and made clear to me what should be my main priority in life. Not only that, He forgave all my since, cleansed my soul, and gave me a fresh start.

For those who already have a personal and intimate relationship with God, then you can relate to what I felt during those times.

Why am I telling you my recent experience?

To embarrass myself? No! If you are true to yourself, and if you know the truth that all of us fall short of God’s standard, then I am sure you wouldn’t laugh at me.

To lose my credibility considering that I am a regular member of a bible study group in Lexmark? No! We tried to get close to God not because we are holy and perfect, but because we are the antithesis of holiness and perfection, and only God can make us perfect and holy like Him. Also, I believe that one of the ways to earn credibility (if ever I aim for it) is to be honest and open to people about my weaknesses while at the same still continue to follow Christ, and establish a relationship with Him, instead of hiding behind a façade of spiritual invincibility which is far from the truth.

To boast? No! I should be ashamed instead (and I was) because my actions (to chose TV and ignore God) did nothing to bring glory and honor to Him who loves me dearly. Instead, it brought Him pain and agony.

To encourage you? Yes! The fact that God saved me from the clutches of the enemy was not a testimony of my will power or the result of reading a self-help book, but rather a testament of God’s mercy and love. The only right thing that I did was that I remained faithful to Him all throughout in spite of all the lies of the enemy. I did not stop calling Him to ask for His mercy, forgiveness and help.

To deliver some message from the One I serve? Yes! And I got four.

(1)Watch out! The enemy and his minions are cunning and can easily deceive us!

2Corithians 11:3
“But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your mind may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.”

Most often the enemy will come to us not as a monster to scare us away, but as something or someone that will attract us. He will not tempt us in a big way but he will tempt us to make little moral concession day in and day out until our spirit will become too weak, and will easily fall into sin.

(2)Don't worry, there is someone we can truly trust a 100%! Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, will lead us to the right way and will protect us from the enemy.

John 10:7-10
“So Jesus said again, “I am telling you the truth: I am the gate for the sheep (we). All others who came before me are thieves and robbers but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate. Those who come in by me will be saved; they will come in and go out and find pasture. The thief (satan and his demons or simply the enemy) comes only in order to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come in order that you might have life – life in all its fullness.””

Jesus is the answer to your soul’s deep longing -- not money, fame, success, drugs, sex, and other earthly things.

(3)There is hope! God will forgive us, and cleanse us from our sin no matter how wicked our deeds were or how low our life is right now.

1John 1:9
“If we confess our sins, He (God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

It’s never too late to change for the better! We should not give up because God will never give up on us! We can always have a fresh start, a new life, and it begins by embrasing Christ.

(4)There is a right priority in life! Seeking a personal, and intimate relationship with God, and following His ways should be the first and foremost priority in life.

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Matthew 16:26
“What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”

Money, fame and success can never substitute for a broken family or lost soul, so stop for a moment, remove the blinders from your eyes, and examine through the lens of honesty your life right now. Is God an important part of your daily life or is He just a dot in your periphery. Are you so absobed with the world, and all it offer to you or does your priorities lead you straight to God?

To quote God in Revelation 1:11, “If you have ears, then, listen to what the Spirit says to the churches (you)!

PS1: As to my addiction to TV, I already surrendered this to God knowing fully well that like my addiction to pornography before, I can't fight this one alone. The root is so deep. I cannot beat it by deying the existence of the desire within me, but I am faithful that in His time, He will bless my effort and prayer and heal me completele.

PS2: If this post inspires and enlightens you, then give praise to God for all glory and honor belongs to Him alone...

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